A Few of My Favorite Things

I'm a coffee snob. Every morning, I measure out a dose of locally sourced, single origin beans to a precision of 0.1 grams using a coffee-specific scale (to which my mom once asked, "Why does your scale need a timer?"). I grind the beans using a grinder that adjusts in steps of 20 microns, which is about 1/4 the thickness of a human hair. I brew using water from a two-stage filter that I installed under the sink to minimize the grossness of modern water supplies... and for better coffee. I heat the water to exactly 208 degrees in a gooseneck kettle, which is the temperature recommended by the Specialty Coffee Association of America. I brew using either an Aeropress or Hario Switch for exactly 2 minutes, shake or stir to break the crust of coffee that forms on top, then at exactly 2:30, drain the water through to finish the brew. Once it's done draining, I stir the coffee in the mug, lest the coffee on top be more extracted than the coffee on the bottom.

In short, I'm insane about coffee.

And yet, my all-time favorite cup of coffee is the crappy cup of definitely-not-single-origin airplane coffee on the way to vacation. It's purely utilitarian. It does its job and promises nothing else.

And this phenomenon doesn't just apply to coffee. My 2007 Toyota doesn't have self-driving, lane departure warnings, software updates, or push-button start, but it can withstand more stickers and balled up gum wrappers than anything on the road. My Ear(notAir)Pods don't cancel any noise, translate anything, or have listening modes, but they also don't require charging, become disposable after a few years, or have connection issues.

We're surrounded by promises. ChatGPT helps you "Get answers. Find inspiration. Be more productive." You can "Escape the clutter and chaos—unleash your productivity with Trello." AirPods Pro 3 promise "incredible sound quality, the world’s best in-ear Active Noise Cancellation, exceptional in-ear fit and stability, heart rate sensing during workouts, and extended battery life." By reading the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, you can "set yourself up for a wealthy, happy future." The BMW 3 Series "brings mind-blowing driving dynamics and modern style together in a striking sports sedan."

But a listing for a 2006 4Runner? It promises, "AWD!!! NO ACCIDENTS !!! CLEAN TITLE!!!"

What I've learned is to appreciate things for what they are and, maybe more importantly, what they do. Wired earbuds aren't status symbols. Nobody makes a calendar of bikini-clad women draped over a 4Runner manufactured during the George W. Bush administration. I've never seen anyone post a selfie with their cup of Delta coffee. But these things Do A Job, without pretension or promises.

Fancy things promise the world. Not-fancy things don't. And I've found a deep satisfaction for simple things. For me, I'm happiest when a thing is fairly priced, does a job, and does it well.

But you can pry my coffee grinder out of my cold, dead hands.